Modern Slang And The Urban Dictionary

I will not pretend to be an authority on urban slang today. I am neither "hip" nor "with it" as you can tell by the expressions I have already used; however, I am at least familiar with a few words from the Urban Dictionary.

I have been playing this online game for a few months and I have come across some words for which I had no idea of their meaning. They included: idk, stfu, noob/newb, and a few others. Now I was familiar with "cya l8r" as I have been using that since the mid 90's. I kind of guessed what "noob" meant; however, to be absolutely sure I googled it because we all know that google provides a list of reputable sites that we can visit for up to date and accurate information. ;)

Anyhoo, (annoyed?) over a short period of time I discovered that "idk" is a short form for "I Don't Know" and "stfu" was a short form of a rather rude expression "Shut The Fuck Up." Now the word "noob" I already had an idea of its' meaning. Noob means Noobie, which is an urban word used to describe someone who is new to the game right? Wrong! The word is defined as a person who is NOT new to the game; however, no matter how hard he tries, he is terrible at it.

To my disappointment, the kids today do not use the word accurately. They throw it around as an insult rather than use it correctly. I discovered that the word "newb" is used to describe someone who is "new to the game, but may have the potential to improve." To my dismay, this word is lost on this generations' online gaming community; however, the kids have invented so many new juicy words, I just have to share them with you!

• Fucktard: A contraction of "fucking retard". fucking + retard = fucktard

• Blumpkin: The process of excreting fecal matter while at the same time recieving oral pleasure. The process should relieve the male individual in the excreting process as the sensual pleasure eases the anal cavity. Such acts are periodically performed under the influence of Alcohol.

Example:

Barrie saw Nick on the shitter and, in her state of drunkneness, gave nick a most excellent blumpkin. It was only after the roommate walked in, did it come to her attention that he was also shitting.

• Dirty Sanchez: The term 'dirty sanchez' originated in the porn industry, particularly films involving ass-to-mouth (atm) action. It describes the (originally unintentional, i.e. blooper) act of leaving a shit moustache on a partner's face by taking your cock out of her ass and putting it in her mouth without wiping it off first. The result is that as the dick is thrust between the lips, shit is scraped off and comes to rest on her upper lip in a moustache configuration. Anyone who thinks it involves the deliberate wiping of shit with fingers on a partner's face is a know-nothing fucktard.

I have ripped these definitions word for word straight from The Urban Dictionary. My favourite being "Dirty Sanchez." I laughed so hard after reading this that I coughed up blood and I also literally pee'ed myself. I remeber saying to myself at the time, in between laughing and peeing and in the style of Captain James T. Kirk - "I...must...write...this....DOWN!" The funniest thing was the online debate about the actual meaning of this expression! I read the first several definitions and I was mildly amused whilst being somewhat disgusted all at the same time. The definition I posted here was in response to the previous attempts to define the phrase. ROTFLMAO!